An Open Letter to My Belly

Dear Belly,

You and I have been through quite a lot together. We've suffered through stomach flus. We lived through workouts. We survived a pregnancy. I want to thank you for not producing stretch marks as my son grew inside you, by the way. You really rocked that one! And the way you went back to normal? It may have taken a while, but hot damn! You rocked that as well! I would like to think that you and I have a mutual respect for one another. After all, I feed you well (most of the time); I make sure you get plenty of exercise via lots of cardio and abdominal crunches; I take care of you when you are sick.

Today, however, I feel we are at a crossroads. I know I have a genetic predisposition to a certain condition we'll call "bloat." Because of this, I do pay close attention to the times when you are a little swollen and uncomfortable and try to treat accordingly. In the past, all I would have to do is take a little medicine or exercise a little more and our "bloat" would be gone in an instant!

Are you on strike or something???

Look. You and I are getting on a plane next Friday to go to the beach for 9 days. I have two brand new adorable bikinis this year (plus those from last year) and YOU are not cooperating with me. What gives?

In an effort to return to our old, good relationship of yore, I'm calling a truce. For the next seven days, I'm going to not stress out about your, um, tendency to swell. I'm going to continue to exercise like I have been. I'm going to give up the Benefiber in an effort to give you a rest. I'm going to give you plenty of water. I'm going to drink lots of tea. Maybe, just maybe, we will be on friendly terms by next Friday.

Love,
Mrs. Pop

P.S. Could ya stop craving those cookies and chips???